NFL
Houston Texans
Takes
42
from 6 people
Linked games
5
Games
BUF 36@HOU 31·Final·Close BUF -1.5→
CIN 20@HOU 6·Final·Close HOU -3→HOU 17@
IND 19·Final·Close HOU -1.5→
DAL 34@HOU 30·Final·Close HOU -3→HOU@
TEN·10/11 - 1:00 PM EDT·Close HOU -7→Takes about the Texans
Graded so far: 5–9 (36%)
Transcripts don’t label speakers, so each take has a speaker confidence score for who said it (hover it for the reasoning). Each take also has a gradeability score: 100% means it can be cleanly confirmed or refuted, and 0% means pure opinion. Click a tier to filter.
- Ringer Wise Guys · Oct 5, 2026The Texans make the playoffs
The Texans are 0-4.
“I think they're still going to make the playoffs.”
100%Final standings settle it.
Who said it (100%): Reviewed and confirmed by an editor
Result: Currently 0–4, 4th in the AFC South (as of 2026-10-05)
- Ringer Wise Guys · Oct 5, 2026The Texans get to about 10 wins
“i think they can still get to like 10 wins”
100%Settles automatically from the final regular-season standings
How it’s graded: The Houston Texans finish the 2026 regular season with 10 or more wins. Source: ESPN final regular-season standings (saved in data/standings.js). Settles: After the 2026 regular season ends (Week 18).
Who said it (100%): Reviewed and confirmed by an editor
Result: Currently 0–4, 4th in the AFC South (as of 2026-10-05)
- Ringer Wise Guys · Oct 5, 2026The Texans-Titans line moves to Texans -7
The Texans are laying 6.5 against the Titans next week.
“I expect that number to go seven if it hasn't already.”
95%The ESPN closing line settles it.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Raheem Palmer)
Result: Game isn’t final yet
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Oct 1, 2026Nico Collins plays for the Texans against the Cowboys.
“I assume he's back he's practiced today we won't know officially until tomorrow”
90%The box score shows whether he played; 'I assume' is a slight hedge.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Bill Simmons)
Result: Nico Collins is in the box score
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Oct 1, 2026Joey Porter Jr. plays for the Cowboys against the Texans.
“they traded for joey porter this week and might actually throw him out there”
80%Settled by whether he plays, but hedged with 'might'.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Bill Simmons)
Result: Joey Porter Jr. isn’t in the box score; confirm by hand
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Oct 1, 2026The Texans cover −3 against the Cowboys.
Ringer 107, Week 4 pick.
“So anyway, Texans minus three is my first one.”
100%Settles from the final score against the line.
Who said it (100%): Ringer 107 pick, from the picks segment
Result: Lost by 4
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Oct 1, 2026Texans beat Dallas by a field goal or so
“I think that they're going to win and I think they're going to win by”
100%A 2–5 point window stands in for "3 or 4" and "or so," and the final score settles it.
How it’s graded: Texans beat the Cowboys by 2 to 5 points (a field goal or so) in their 2026 regular-season matchup. Source: Official NFL final box score (NFL.com or ESPN). Settles: Final whistle of the 2026 Texans–Cowboys game.
Who said it (100%): Reviewed and confirmed by an editor
Result: Lost by 4
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Oct 1, 2026The Texans beat the Cowboys.
Arguing the Texans won't start 0–4.
“with the amount of talent that they have And just because Nico Collins got hurt for two games, I can't buy it”
95%A moneyline lean on top of his spread pick, settled by the final score.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Bill Simmons)
Result: Lost by 4
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Oct 1, 2026Joey Porter Jr. plays for the Cowboys this Sunday.
“maybe even as soon as this Sunday, his back's going to be healthy enough for him to play”
80%The box score shows whether he played; 'maybe' is a hedge.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Tom Pelissero)
Result: Joey Porter Jr. isn’t in the box score; confirm by hand
- Ringer Wise Guys · Sep 29, 2026Nico Collins returns and plays for Houston against Dallas
“I think Nico Collins is going to come back for Houston”
100%Whether Collins plays is on the record.
Who said it (100%): Reviewed and confirmed by an editor
Result: Nico Collins is in the box score
- Ringer Wise Guys · Sep 29, 2026Cowboys–Texans is a high-scoring game
He said he won't be betting the Houston under because Dallas has defensive injuries.
“So I think that game is going to be a lot of fun on Sunday”
45%'A lot of fun' needs a proxy; graded here as the game going over the total.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Anthony Dabbundo)
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 27, 2026The 0–3 Texans get to 5–5
“I feel like they're going to be five and five by the”
85%The Texans’ record after their next seven games
Who said it (100%): Reviewed and confirmed by an editor
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 27, 2026The Texans don't get the AFC's 1 seed.
Walking back their August pick of Houston as the AFC 1 seed.
“probably not going to get the one seed like we predicted in August”
85%Final seeding settles it; 'probably' hedges.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Cousin Sal)
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 27, 2026If Nico Collins plays, the Texans–Cowboys line moves to Texans −3.
The line was Texans −2.5.
“I think if Nico plays, that goes to three.”
80%The closing line settles it, but only if Nico Collins plays.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Bill Simmons)
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 24, 2026The Texans cover −1.5 against the Colts.
Ringer 107, Week 3 pick.
“Houston Texans.”
100%Settles from the final score against the line.
Who said it (100%): Ringer 107 pick, from the picks segment
Result: Lost by 2
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 24, 2026The Texans end up being a good team this season.
“I just believe in Houston”
40%"Good" needs a proxy, such as a winning record or a playoff berth.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Joe House)
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 21, 2026The Texans make the Super Bowl.
Restated preseason pick after the Texans fell to 0–2.
“Picked them to make the Super Bowl.”
95%Settled by who wins the AFC.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Bill Simmons)
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 17, 2026Joe Burrow plays against Houston despite his back issue.
“Joe Burrow's got a little bit of a back issue, but I fully anticipate him playing”
100%Whether he played settles from the box score.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Tom Pelissero)
Result: Joe Burrow is in the box score
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 17, 2026The Texans cover −2.5 against the Bengals.
Ringer 107, Week 2 pick.
“But under three, I'm taking Houston minus two and a half.”
100%Settles from the final score against the line.
Who said it (100%): Ringer 107 pick, from the picks segment
Result: Lost by 14
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 17, 2026The Texans cover −2.5 against the Bengals.
Ringer 107, Week 2 pick.
“Nothing moved me off my priors with Houston.”
100%Settles from the final score against the line.
Who said it (100%): Ringer 107 pick, from the picks segment
Result: Lost by 14
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 17, 2026The Texans beat the Bengals by 3 or more.
“I think they went by three at least”
100%The final score settles it.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Bill Simmons)
Result: Lost by 14
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 17, 2026The Texans win the AFC South.
An existing futures bet.
“exposure to Houston to win their division”
100%Final standings settle it.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Joe House)
Result: Currently 0–4, 4th in the AFC South (as of 2026-10-05)
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 13, 2026The Bengals force fewer than four turnovers against the Texans.
“I don't think they'll be getting four turnovers again.”
90%The box score shows the turnovers forced.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Bill Simmons)
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 10, 2026The Texans cover +1.5 against the Bills.
Ringer 107, Week 1 pick.
“the first pick here is the houston texans at home catching points from the buffalo Bills”
100%Settles from the final score against the line.
Who said it (100%): Ringer 107 pick, from the picks segment
Result: Lost by 5
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 10, 2026The Texans have the best defense in the NFL this season.
“They're the best defense, in my opinion, even with the outstanding performance that we saw last night from the Seattle Seahawks.”
50%'Best defense' needs a stat proxy such as points or EPA allowed.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Joe House)
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 10, 2026David Montgomery outperforms his fantasy draft position.
“who is kind of a sneaky fantasy guy”
35%"Sneaky fantasy guy" has no clear fantasy-rank threshold.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Bill Simmons)
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 10, 2026Keyshawn Booty makes a notable play against the Bills.
“And I just know he's going to do something in this Texans game.”
35%'Do something' is vague; a touchdown or a big play would have to stand in.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Bill Simmons)
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 10, 2026The Texans have the best defense in the NFL this season.
“I think they have the best defense in the league”
55%"Best defense" needs a proxy such as points or EPA allowed over the season.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Bill Simmons)
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 10, 2026The Texans beat the Bills
“i think they're gonna win”
100%This is a binary outright-win claim on a single linkable game, so the automatic win rule settles it exactly. The spread hedge is excluded by definition.
How it’s graded: Correct if the Houston Texans (NFL:HOU) score more points than the Buffalo Bills (NFL:BUF) in their Week 1 2026 NFL regular-season game, with overtime included. Incorrect if the Bills win or the game ends in a tie. The +7.5 point-spread hedge is not graded. The take is the outright win he states. Source: Official final score of the Texans-Bills Week 1 2026 game from the NFL's official gamebook or NFL.com, or ESPN as a fallback.. Settles: When the Week 1 2026 Texans-Bills game goes final, including any overtime. Expected about Sept 13-14, 2026. If the game is postponed, it settles when the rescheduled game goes final. If it is cancelled and never played, the take is voided..
Who said it (100%): Reviewed and confirmed by an editor
Result: Lost by 5
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 10, 2026The Texans are the best team in the AFC.
“in general i think they're the best afc team”
50%'Best' needs a proxy such as AFC seed or record.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Bill Simmons)
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 10, 20266-point teaser: Texans +7.5 against the Bills and Jaguars −2.5 against the Browns.
Ringer 107, Week 1, his 6-point teaser.
“So my teaser is Texans plus seven and a half Jaguars minus two and a half.”
100%Settles from the final scores; every leg has to cover its teased line.
Who said it (100%): Ringer 107 pick, from the picks segment
Result: 2-leg teaser
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 6, 2026The Bills cover −1.5 at Houston.
Sal guessed Bills −1.5 at Houston and it matched the line.
“I think it's a little bit of a break for Buffalo getting this defense before they get in a rhythm.”
70%The score settles it, but he argues for Buffalo rather than betting it outright.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Cousin Sal)
Result: Won by 5
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 6, 2026The Texans and Seahawks both make the playoffs.
Futures draft parlay, +112.
“I have Houston and Seattle both to make the playoffs.”
100%Final playoff standings settle both legs.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Bill Simmons)
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 6, 2026The Texans and Seahawks have two of the three best defenses in the league.
“I just think Houston's defense and Seattle's defense, those are going to be two of the three best defenses in the league.”
55%Needs a defensive metric (EPA or points allowed) as a proxy.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Bill Simmons)
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 6, 2026David Montgomery runs for 1,000+ yards for the Texans.
Futures draft, +220.
“1,000 -yard rushing season.”
100%The season rushing total settles it.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Bill Simmons)
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 6, 2026The Texans win the AFC South.
Futures draft, +120.
“Quickly, Houston to win the AFC South.”
100%Final division standings settle it.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Bill Simmons)
Result: Currently 0–4, 4th in the AFC South (as of 2026-10-05)
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 6, 2026The Texans win more games than the Eagles (+120)
“and that is the Texans to have more wins than the Eagles.”
100%Final win totals
Who said it (100%): Reviewed and confirmed by an editor
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 6, 2026The Texans and Seahawks each win 10+ games and the Buccaneers win 9+.
Futures draft parlay with Tampa over 8.5.
“Houston and Seattle over nine and a half wins each.”
100%The standings settle all three win totals.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Bill Simmons)
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 6, 2026Baltimore (+500) or Houston (+750) is the AFC’s No. 1 seed
“Houston, one seed plus 750.”
100%Official seeding gives a clear yes or no, but no single-team rule covers either team.
How it’s graded: Baltimore or Houston finishes as the AFC's No. 1 playoff seed in the final 2026 NFL regular-season standings. Source: NFL.com final 2026 regular-season standings and playoff seeding. Settles: End of the 2026 NFL regular season.
Who said it (100%): Reviewed and confirmed by an editor
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 6, 2026David Montgomery scores 8+ touchdowns.
Futures draft, −102.
“David Montgomery, eight touchdowns.”
95%His touchdown total settles it, though rushing-only vs. all TDs was unclear.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Bill Simmons)
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 6, 2026The Seahawks beat the Texans in the Super Bowl.
Exact-matchup pick at +5340; Seattle repeats.
“My Super Bowl pick is Seattle over Houston.”
100%The Super Bowl result settles it.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Bill Simmons)
- The Bill Simmons Podcast · Sep 3, 2026The Texans and Seahawks meet in the Super Bowl.
“Houston and Seattle in the Super Bowl”
100%The Super Bowl matchup is public record.
Who said it (95%): Recognized by voice on this line (Bill Simmons)
